I’ve been every U.S. President’s double ever since 1977, which is weird, considering that I’m not even a very political person.

I guess I can call myself lucky because I fell in love the same day I started my job. Sweet Melissa, looking like a billion bucks. At first we had our difficulties because she was much taller than me and already knew the puns to all the jokes I told.

But now I truly love her.

Even though she’s always worried and wears too much perfume all the time. She won’t know the difference between perfume and eau de toilette, no matter how often I lecture her.

We’ve been in this terrible plane crash the other day. I remember that while the plane came down, she squeezed my hand very very tightly and pressed her head against my chest, hoping I could save her. I tried to calm her, whispering into her ear:

„Look, everything will be alright, boo. I look and behave exactly like the President, they won’t let that kind of thing happen to our country.“

And I remember that all the while, as the plane was crashing down into the riverbed, I just couldn’t stop thinking that I’ve never smelled anyone wearing that much perfume.

She didn’t make it out alive and I haven’t smelled that much perfume on anyone ever again.

I miss it sometimes. Especially when things start getting difficult.

I sometimes think that I’m the worst but I’m good at what I do and

I will fall in love again eventually.