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a blow up pool

with water and feet in it

is what I remember from that day

and the bits of grass in the pool

and the sun

shining on me in a way

that I took personal

like it was more violent to me than it was

to the girl across the yard

with the knuckle tattoos

too far away for me to read of course

not a single hand shake all year

not a single comment

on the softness of my palms

but the feet underwater

they touch the same

I still remember my voice in the hallway

when I told you

that the use of negative space

is a key element of artistic composition

the way you rolled your eyes at me

was so specific

you said negative space is silly

and of course you were right

so I didn’t talk for some time

and I could not enjoy the art

still I kept nodding at the frames

I stared assumptions at the fresco

trying to come up with a way

to make it right

while you moved on

into other rooms

I didn’t know

When I look at her
I have no idea why I try so hard
to succeed at other things

She’s front row tickets to everything
She’s Novelle Vague
and Jarmush dialogue
She’s kisses in the middle of the lane
and well lit billboards
of Dior haute couture
She’s She’s All That
without the parts where you can see
through the acting

I’m Netflix and chill
and somehow she hasn’t noticed yet.

I’m sending blackmail letters to every god out there
telling them I need my forehead kissed or else
but they just laugh
that’s so corny they tell me
drop the poetry bullshit
focus on something else they say
I have some nerve still asking for stuff
after last year’s yahtzee winning streak
where do I get off
always wanting everything all the time
but little do I know
humanity has squandered its luck
the day Werner Herzog saved Joaquin Phoenix from
that car accident
all of society’s aspirations played out
with an „ouch, easy Werner“
and now the world is going crazy for Joker
but no one ever
sends thank you letters
a bottle of wine
or chocolate pralines

depressed ballons
full of bad breath
can’t push against
the ceiling
on your big day
you listen to your uncle talk about his RV
followed by something racist
as you blow out
the candles
for hot luck
next year