depressed ballons
full of bad breath
can’t push against
the ceiling
on your big day
you listen to your uncle talk about his RV
followed by something racist
as you blow out
the candles
for hot luck
next year
birthday boy
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Word
I deserve this with my lungs filled
in love with all my stuff.
the place we used to hide in is no longer a secret
wishlist
Request for Respite
three steps before hell
the gate keepers ask
if you came for
business or pleasure
big fucking question
sure they would expect
you’ve at least
made up your mind by now
and have it all figured out
but you’re just trying
to smile
and they’re trying
to smile
as you walk off
thinking they probably
get this
all the time
Heavyweight champion
the priests team up
and work in shifts in
an attempt to comfort me
they spoon feed me fruits
directly from jars
but I’m having
none of it
this time
I spit it in a soft lake
and hide in the tall grass
wild and scared
when nature lets its hair grow out
I’m climbing every single one
until gravity pulls
a friendly reminder
of the stones in my pocket
but my god
it’s hard to feel heavy
next to you
Your vacation pictures are turning my brain into salt water
The TV is screaming at me
in the voice of people turning twenty one
while I dream of manspreading
my way into everyone’s life
to cover more ground
and take more than I need
just because
I can
It’s excessive behavior week
and I’m the Belladonna of this shit
I try to forget the too white sheets
and order some of the stretchiest attire
available online
Yes I still think of you
and how you would
count your blessings
using all your fingers
the gray nails the red nails the black nails
the too white sheets all year
and I would pull my hand out of a bag of chips
to mirror your movements
and immediately realize
the softest hands
I could ever imagine
are my own
My dream house has a TV/VCR combo unit with a copy of Body Heat stuck in it.
This might be the start of something new
so we ask each other questions
like do you know this band
what would your dream house look like
and is your dad still alive
I shake my head
you cry a little
we smoke in bed
and drink from the same glass
your tongue carves pet names into my neck
and I cringe a little
while hair’s falling to the ground beneath me
yesterday’s socks on the ground beneath me
I put them on again
just watch me.
I’m spamming fire emojis in the comment section of your mirror selfies
I light a fire on both sides
of the river
because I’ve got nothing else
going for myself
while I shout confessions
at the river
and watch them sink
like rocks
until all I got left
is this mouth
and two fires
and everything
slowly
hits
bottom.
thortenguss 